Four Across and Seven Down
by Matelia-legwll
Summary: "You'd have thought he was merely bored—asked if I'd finished with my newspaper, cool as you please, said he missed doing the crossword." Sirius attempts a couple of crossword puzzles with the other Marauders. JPLE.


Four Across and Seven Down

By Matelia-legwll

Disclaimer: JK Rowling owns all the Potterverse references. I get the plot. And that's about it. No characters or anything. Oh, and the Peter Pan reference doesn't belong to me either. It's just for fun.

Summary: "You'd have thought he was merely bored—asked if I'd finished with my newspaper, cool as you please, said he missed doing the crossword." Sirius attempts a couple of crossword puzzles with the other Marauders. JP/LE.

Rating: K (Pure and simple)

Genre: Humor/Romance

* * *

"What's a three letter word for a Communist country?" asked Sirius absentmindedly. He had folded the morning's Daily Prophet open to the word games section and was ready to fill in the first blank of the crossword puzzle. 

"Red," said James softly.

"Thanks, mate," said Sirius as he scribbled it down. "What about a five letter word for environmentally friendly?"

"Green."

"I should have known that." Sirius scribbled down the answer then asked, "What's a four letter word for Easter flower?"

"Lily," sighed James, a soft smile on his face.

"Hey, cool. That works," said Sirius, raising his quill. He stopped and turned to his best mate, who was gazing at a very pretty red-haired green-eyed girl that went by the name of Lily Evans sitting a little ways down the table, and asked suspiciously, "Were you even listening to me?"

"What?" said James, turning back.

"Argh. Even when you're not paying the slightest attention you still get the answers right," complained Sirius.

"Of course," said James arrogantly. "I'm James Potter."

"And _that_ is why Lily Evans won't give you the answer _you_ want," inserted Remus, shaking his head slightly.

"Why?" asked Peter.

"He's being arrogant," answered Remus.

Sirius had turned back to his crossword puzzle. "What's a three letter word for prat?"

"James," cried Remus triumphantly.

Sirius looked oddly at his friend. "Sadly, Moony, that's not even the right amount of letters."

"Try 'git' then," said James, returning to his own gazing.

"Wicked. And now all I need to do is to rearrange the answers to get a hex that will make Snivelly's toenails grow and grow," said Sirius with an evil grin.

"Wait, like Snivellus did to me?" asked Peter.

James hid a smile. Snivellus was _not_ funny. Peter's reaction, however...

"Excellent. 'Tigy lil neer gder'," said Sirius, intoning the words in a deep mysterious voice, not paying attention to Peter. He frowned, looking at the words again. "Or maybe 'ti grey lil negder'," he suggested, returning to the deep voice when he got back to the mixed up words.

"Tiger Lily gender," said James, sighing exasperatedly. "Obviously."

"_Another_ clue?" said Sirius, dismayed.

"How does a flower have a gender?" asked Remus. "I read in Herbology that plants were neither male nor female, because they had both..."

James turned and gave a weird look to his friends, who were now puzzling over this new clue. "It's a girl."

"What?"

"Come on, Sirius. Surely you remember Mum taking us to the play 'Peter Pan' down in Muggle London."

"What does that have to do with anything?"

James sighed again. "Tiger Lily. She was the Indian princess. You know, that Peter Pan rescued? The chief was all mad because he thought that Pan had kidnapped her instead of Hook. She was the one Tinkerbell thought that Pan should like, instead of Wendy."

James was receiving odd looks and not all were from his three best mates. He noted that Lily Evans was now looking at him with, was that curiosity?

"Pay attention next time Sirius," James reproved.

Sirius's jaw had dropped. "Excuse me? _You_ were the one that said that our time would be better spent coming up with ways to—" Sirius cut himself off, with a half glance toward Remus, whose eyes had widened. "hex a certain someone," Sirius finished with a significant look over at the Slytherin table.

James smiled broadly. "And haven't I answered every one of your hex puzzle clues correctly? Including the one with Tiger Lily? Do you have the hex now?"

"No. I suppose you would have to rearrange 'girl' or 'female'," said Sirius, discouraged.

"Lirg, lamefe," tried Peter. "Rigl, mefela, gilr, lefema..."

"Pad, could I see the paper for a moment?" asked Remus suddenly.

"Sure," said Sirius, handing it over the table to Remus.

"Ah. You _were_ aware that you were doing the wrong puzzle, weren't you?" asked Remus, grinning.

"What?" exclaimed Sirius, snatching back the paper.

"The Arithmancy puzzle is the one that gives you the hex," said Remus importantly. "The crossword puzzle is for bettering Muggle and Wizard relations."

James roared with laughter, Peter and Remus laughed also, though perhaps not so loud, and even Sirius managed a small bark of a laugh.

"That was fun," said Sirius thoughtfully after they had quieted down again. "Let's do it again!"

Sirius looked up and down the Gryffindor table. "Anyone have another crossword puzzle?" he called out.

There was no response, except for a few girls rummaging in their bags. Sirius slumped down, disappointed, when someone dropped a book of crossword puzzles in front of him. Sirius and James turned around to see Lily Evans striding towards the door of the Great Hall, closing up her bag.

"Wicked," said Sirius, looking through the book of puzzles.

"She likes me," proclaimed James, ruffling his hair as he stared after her.

Peter caught Remus's eye and they both grinned.

Remus mildly said, "You know, James, she gave the book to Sirius, not to you."

"Doesn't matter. She still likes me," said James, a smile creeping forth over his face.

Lily had turned back for just a moment as she reached the doors and flashed a smile, before disappearing out into the corridor.

"Hey, what's a seven letter word for a frog's home?"

"Lilypad," said James, grinning at the double meaning. "Lily, Pad."

"I heard you the first time," muttered Sirius as he filled up his quill again.

"Lily, Padfoot. Lily gave us crossword puzzles."

"She obviously didn't know what that would mean to you, Prongs," said Remus. "As I don't either."

"There's got to be a hidden meaning, or a clue," said James eagerly leaning over the book. "A clue that says that she likes me."

"Maybe she just got tired of doing it?" suggested Remus halfheartedly.

James ignored him, looking at the Gryffindor table. "Sirius what is seven down?"

"A pronoun for a female. 'Her'? No, that has wrong letters. 'She'? Excellent. That fits perfectly."

"And four, er, across?" asked James looking at the foursome huddled close around the crossword book.

"Feelings of intense like. It has five letters. I love this!" exclaimed Sirius. He stopped, surprised at his own brilliance. "'Loves'! That's it!"

"And..." James trailed off, bewildered at whatever could be the next clue.

"Hey look at this!" interrupted Sirius. "Another word for prat. G ... I ... Hang on. That won't work. It's five letters, not three."

"James," said Remus, grinning.

"How does that work?" asked Sirius. "It's not supposed to have actual names."

"Oh really?" asked Remus, pointing to a clue on the next puzzle that called for the name of the Prime Minister.

"That's different," said Sirius with James nodding in agreement.

"Just try it," said Remus, exasperatedly.

"It fits in with 'loves'," said Sirius in surprise.

"Exactly," said Remus, leaning back triumphantly.

"What does that mean?" asked Sirius, bewildered.

"Lily, Pad. She loves James," said Remus.

James's jaw dropped. "What?" His exclamation was joined by Sirius and Peter.

Remus sighed. "Prongs, _you_ said that there was a secret message. That's the one that she included."

James's eyes grew wide, a few seconds later a grin split his face, and he suddenly stood up and dashed out of the Great Hall.

"Hey Moony, what has a cycle of twenty-eight days?" asked Sirius absentmindedly, starting on another puzzle.

Remus stared at Sirius in shock, and hurriedly dashed out after James.

Sirius looked up at Peter. "What's got _his_ wand in a knot?"

Peter shrugged and bent over his plate as he stuffed his mouth with eggs and toast.

"Ah. It's the moon," declared Sirius triumphantly. After a moment, his victorious grin fell off his face, and he dashed out after Remus, only pausing long enough to grab the book of crossword puzzles.

Peter sat there a moment longer, gazing at the half-finished seconds and thirds of the other boys. He sighed, then gathered up the rest of the Marauders's things and stood up, muttering, "Another day, another drama," as he left the Great Hall himself.

He came upon four people arguing outside the Transfiguration classroom. "Here, Padfoot, Moony, Prongs. Take these," said Peter, wearily pushing their possessions into their hands as they continued the argument with Lily Evans.

"You love me," declared James.

"No, I don't," retorted Lily.

"How come my name was in the puzzle then?"

"Alright, so I heard Remus's joke and thought it was funny."

"The puzzle distinctly said, "Lilypad, She, Loves, James," inserted Sirius.

"And what was that jibe about the moon?" asked Remus.

"I have no clue what you are talking about," declared Lily.

"Come on, Lily. Just admit it," advised Remus.

Lily's face was getting red. "I will not admit anything, because there is nothing to admit!"

Sirius shook his head. "Four across and seven down, plus the prat clue, and the frog's home."

"What _are_ you talking about?" said Lily.

James looked at her calculatingly. "You were seven seats down from me. Seven down was 'she'. We were four, sitting across from each other. Four across was 'loves'. 'James' fit in with 'loves', so it was no coincidence. And I recognized the double meaning of 'lilypad' before this all occurred to me."

Lily was staring, dumbfounded, at the four boys now around her. "What has gotten into you lot this morning?" she asked weakly as Professor McGonagall opened the door to the classroom and let the boys file in to the back row of the classroom.

"Padfoot!" called out Peter accusingly, as he sat down on his seat and it burst into squeaks.

"What?" said Sirius, putting on an innocent expression.

"Lily, Pad. She loves James," murmured Remus to himself, as his chair emitted howls until he shut them off with a wave of his wand.

James looked curiously at Sirius as his chair started into happy barks. "You charmed your own chair?"

"Oh, of course, Prongs. I didn't know how soon we would come to class, and if we were late, I could have framed someone else. Ah, well."

"What is my chair going to sound like?" asked James warily.

"Try it and see," advised Remus.

James sat down and started at the snorts and huffs coming from his chair. After a moment it was joined by croaking. James looked around, but the only other person in the classroom was Lily ... who had _just_ taken her seat at the front of the classroom ... _and_ was looking at her chair with a horrified expression.

"Hello, Lilypad!" called out Sirius.

"Padfoot!" cried Remus, and James walloped the backside of Sirius's head once.

"It didn't mean that she wanted us to call her Lilypad!" whispered Remus hastily reproving him.

"Really?" asked Sirius. The other three nodded and Sirius sighed, pulling out the crossword book. Flipping through the pages, he stopped and grinned at a clue. "What's an eight letter word for trouble?"

"Mischief!" said James, Remus, and Peter together, grinning.

"And this mischief has been managed," said Sirius, finishing the word with a flourish.

* * *

A/N: I was just doing a crossword puzzle myself when I came across the lily clue from the beginning. Then I happened to remember the quote from Fudge in PoA. And as I wondered what got Sirius hooked on crossword puzzles, this just flowed from that little inspiration. Hope you liked this little one-shot. 

As for the setting, I believe this takes place in the Marauder's fifth or sixth year. Possibly seventh, but that's debatable.

Thanks for reading! I hope you take the time to review!


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